dreams, wasteland, frustration and faith

To my left is a rough draft of a novel i've been working on and trying to sell for six years. To my right is a phone bill. i am keeping an eye on the clock; i've got to go to my temporary job to i can pay my right hand. I don't dream of being a John Grisham (OK, maybe i do, just a little) but i do think God gave me a gift and a dream and i am trying to pursue it.

But in the pursuit of dreams, there are wastelands that must be crossed, and bridges that must be jumped off. God is interested in character more than characters, and pursuit more than conquest (at least is seems to me), so i pursue this dream.

I am reading this little book about hopes and dreams. The book wants to be encouraging, and describes the wasteland and the pathway to one's dreams, but never quite gets behind the description. I know we are in a wasteland, but how does one get out?! Ok, the book does talk about pushing on, even in the face of opposition. A thin encouragement; the phone company still wants to be paid.

Then maybe i'm fixated on money. Doesn't God promise to provide our needs? and aren't my needs met? I am on a computer, a rather full stomach (I am trying to compose a pun about wasteland and waist-land, but nothing is coming), the phone bill is not over-due. So, maybe i just need to stop bitching about my condition, and keep pushing on. But, crap!, ten dollars an hour! Doesn't our God value the dreams he gives us a bit more than that?!

Oh Oh, there I go again, back to money.

Oh Oh, the clock just moved a bit. Time to go to work.

Oh Oh, the pages i wanted to edit will have to wait.

David